That's the way, that's the way, that's the way

Okay so let me tell you about today. Nicole gets an idea. Nicole tries to follow through with said idea - oops - wrench in the works. Just spent time writing here preparing a post about commitment because I have not committed to keep up with my blog posts, my exercise, my healthy living. So I write the darn thing, get ready to edit and I have deleted it somehow. What the heck? I mean I wrote some good stuff, right. Or maybe it was crap and my cinco followers would know (one, that I'm looking for more followers) that I am cuckoo for coco puffs right now.

So let me give you the highlights of my last post....I cannot maintain friendships because I have a fear of commitment or an inability to stay faithful to friendships, hairdressers, healthy living plans (banning the word diet from my vocabulary), careers (writing is my first love) and a bunch of other things that I have forgotten because I can't even commit things to memory. I do remember from my long lost, well-written post, that I did not have an answer for my conundrum (nor do I want one). I am willing to forge forward with my new revelation and wait for God to tell me to stop whining. Most of the time I know exactly what I need to do and how to go about it, but I give myself reasons to not do it.

So what am I going to do about this friend thing? Let's see - I have a wide circle of friends. The thing I was commenting on was my lack of intimate friendships. You know the kind that five of you have - people you know you better than you know yourself. People who are willing to tell you difficult things even though they may get more than they bargained for in return. I don't know that I have that in my life right now, or if I am that for others.