Gotta get out of this place

When I was a kid, I had to get out at least once a day. I think my mom first pointed it out to me. We were still living on Adams Avenue in Barrington and I guess I was acting out of sorts. She said, "It's because you have not been out today."

The weird thing was that it had to be to a store or the library - some place with other people other than my family. Outdoors was not enough. If I do not go out, event today, I am super cagey and cranky.

I am so old I forget my little quirks. Early today I was not productive because I was bored, but it was because I had not been out yet - that was the problem. Now I am back in the house, listening to my IPOD to blur the noise from the children. I like it a little quiet so I can hear my thoughts. The stove is on, the TV is blaring and Marcel is growling apparently playing make-believe with Clayton. Now cue the incessant giggling that will drive a sane woman insane.

Just checking in before I completely lose my marbles, I am committed and all I will have to show for my semi-sane days is this blog. Remember to come visit me.

I had a bad dream.. a cupcake came to life - Clayton, 6

I have been working on high stake testing all this week and I have been out of my classroom for three days. Working near the front office of a school, you see different types of students filter through and hear a ton of stories. We have students getting into Harvard and Princeton at the same time we have kids in gangs. We students winning championship games, prizes in music and drama at the same time you have kids winning jail time for drag racing, theft, and other type activity. The students come with baggage – most if out of their control. I spend a lot of time in the classroom fighting legacy. As their teacher, I want the best for my students, but I feel like I am up against impossible odds.

My son is thirteen and I do not want to send him to the public school where I teach. What does that say about me as a professional if I send him to private school? What does that say about me as a mom if I send him to public school knowing the risks? I am terrified for Ava. The kids he hangs out with on the basketball court can be into anything off it. Avalon and I have to watch his back in the social world we witness and in the world he lives on the internet and through his cell phone.

Clayton woke me up around 4:30 am talking about a bad dream. Just know at dinner he told me he cannot go to bed because he does not want the bad dream about the cupcake that came to life to return. I laughed and told him to eat it. I would gladly trade adult worries for nightmares about walking cupcakes.